Preferred Vendor Lists & First Born Children

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colorado wedding planner, denver wedding planner, preferred vendor lists, wedding planning

Perusing the various Facebook Wedding Groups that I belong to, I came across a feverish and interesting topic about kickbacks & venue “preferred vendor lists”. I usually don’t publicly (at least on the open ‘net) discuss industry practices because it can come off as, well, rather “Gossip Girl-ish”

But this is something that I’ve been hearing a lot about and thought I would throw my two cents in. I’m a “tell it how it is” kind of gal and if I offend you, drop me a note in the comments and tell me why.

Kickbacks/Commissions

First off, I do not accept any type of kickback, commission, first-born child or any other type of compensation (unless it is a box of sugar cookies) for referring business to another wedding partner. It’s not ethical and quite frankly is deceitful to my clients.

In my opinion, the honorable wedding partners I spoke with do NOT accept commissions or kickbacks. We all prefer that our partners spread the love to our clients. Our job as wedding planner’s is to bring the best talent within the couple’s budget to produce an amazing day.

How creepy would it be that we only referred people that paid us? To me, seems a little “Pretty Woman-ish”

I prefer to work with wedding partners that share similar work practices and of course, are just way kick-ass. Who wants to work with a stuffy vendor that has an ego the size of the Empire State Building? I just think that if we were all up-front about our business practices it would change the perception that our industry is filled with greedy money-grubbing business owners.

Trust me, I get that businesses need to create additional revenue streams by having strategic partnerships, but I don’t condone the practice of hiding the manner in which “preferred vendors” are selected. There are other ways to create these lists. Oh, I don’t know, how about getting to know smaller businesses on a personal level? Even the Ritz Carlton had to start out somewhere.

It is my business practice to be fully transparent in my services, business referrals and policies. If you want to know something, just ask me. I’m an open book with nothing to hide. Want to know if I lived in a trailer in Wyoming when I was a kid? Yep, sure have. Want to know if I have ever been in a really crappy relationship? Yep, that too. And I don’t regret either. I digress….

Venue’s Preferred Vendor Referral Lists

The wedding industry HAS to rely upon referrals/recommendations to sustain our business; we just cannot live without them. I personally would like to think that if I am recommended by another wedding partner, it is because they know that I will work my ass off and will protect THEIR reputation by doing so.

I truly believe that it is a two-way street. Why would you want to hire somebody if you don’t trust them to make YOU look good? I think this is Business 101, peeps.

With that being said, many (not all) venues have started creating “Venue Referral Lists” that are extremely misleading, in my opinion. Engaged couples have no clue that many times, vendors are PAYING (yes, paying!) either a flat fee or a percentage to be named as a “preferred vendor”. (I actually just spoke to a caterer this afternoon who confirmed this)

Seriously? Now, I have to PAY somebody to “like” me? This girl doesn’t play that game. This methodology frustrates me because this practice creates a perception that venue referrals are based on their merit and not the checkbook of the wedding vendor. Engaged couples are being misled. What happens if a couple decides to work with me only to find out that I’m not on the venue’s preferred list? The couple isn’t going to change their venue simply because I’m fabulous, although that would be super-cool. The couple is unhappy, the venue is being stubborn and I’ve lost out on potential business.

Doesn’t really seem to be a great idea.

Your Turn!

Has this ever happened to you? Have you had clients who were interested in hiring you until they found out you weren’t on their venue’s preferred vendor list? What happened? Did you lose the job? And for those of you who may be on a venue’s preferred vendor list, please share your position – always curious to know what I don’t know.

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Man Up

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denver wedding planning, fiance gifts, wedding gifts, wedding planning

Every Friday, I will be talking about ways to take care of your relationship, wether it’s focusing on you, your fiancé or your relationship.

Below is an article I found on AskMen.com that talks about gifts you can give to your man, along with my $.02.

While it’s fun to be on the receiving end of gift-giving, we can’t always be selfish.

Ladies, read up –

Top 10 Man-GIfts

There are many things men will instinctively purchase on their own, such as beer, ale, suds, and alcoholic amber fluid (just to name a few). Unfortunately, upon leaving the confines of childhood — where mothers and fathers are legally bound to provide us with the products, goods and surgeries needed to survive — many adult men tend to forgo purchases that could turn them into fully-rounded, happy individuals.

On the bright side, while your parents have moved out of this pampering role, girlfriends (hopefully more than one) have moved in. So whether you’re a girl reading this list on your boyfriend’s behalf or you’re a guy planning to print this out and leave it on your girlfriend’s face while she sleeps, take note of the products below and make sure they reach the top of your current squeeze’s shopping list.

Upgrading current pleasures

If there is one thing men have an inherent skill for, it’s finding something they love and then buying its cheap, half-ass equivalent. This is why one of the best gifts a man can receive is the first-class version of a product he usually doles out pocket change for.

My husband is a huge video-gamer. He had one of the older PlayStations and during our engagement, I upgraded that version for him and bought a few games that he had been looking at. Yes, my 30+ husband still plays video games. With our neighbors. Online.

Premium liquor

When it comes to alcohol, a lot of men are willing to forego taste and purity if it means they can get four gallons of it for $5. This is why splurging on a premium bottle of liquor remains, to this date, one of the most refreshing gifts a man can receive.

For example, if your fiance loves tequila, perhaps you upgrade and buy a bottle of Patron Silver.

Collector’s items

When it comes to entertainment and hobbies, men and women tend to be polar opposites. After all, no woman has ever celebrated Easter morning by watching The Lord of the Rings, Scarface and an Iron Maiden DVD back-to-back. That’s why when a woman overcomes her own disgust and purchases her boyfriend something rare and expensive concerning his non female love, such as Tony Montana’s belt or Gandolf’s toothpick, it’s like his Christmas, birthday and Jessica Alba’s birthday rolled into one.

My husband is from Ohio, and LOVES the Ohio State Buckeyes (Go Bucks!). As an engagement gift, I gave him an old school pennant from the school.

Magazine subscriptions

Okay, so buying a man a magazine subscription isn’t really an upgrade, as these tend to be cheaper than buying individual copies of the publications. But the real treat here is that boyfriends will never have to go to the magazine stand in the middle of winter to find out why Tara Reid thinks brown hair is “so sexy.”

My husband is also into cars. Like it’s a crazy obsession and he’s a walking encyclopedia of useless car knowledge. So, I found a few car-related magazines and I ordered a few subscriptions. Every month, he’s reminded of how much I love him. All together now, “Awwwww”

Great grooming gifts

When it comes to personal grooming, many men simply don’t possess the skills, know-how or bathroom mirror needed to properly turn themselves from a stinky anthropoid to a fragrant Adonis — making this the perfect area for a girlfriend to take control.

The hubs is one of those manly guys who takes forever to get ready. True story. So any type of grooming gift would be perfect for him.

Axe Lab: Fragrances for men

Across the country, there are numerous men who equate “not being smelly” with “smelling good.” In times like these, it’s the sworn duty of girlfriends to teach their men about the advances made in fragrance technology and why their misunderstanding of “eau de toilette” has made them both stinky and unhygienic.

Ditto.

Shaving kit

Unless a man is part of a militia or an English department, his head is the location of a perpetual war between facial hair and a society that deems it unacceptable. That’s why equipping her man with the weapons needed to make the war as painless as possible — specifically, a top-of-the-line shaving kit — is the best thing she can do to support the troops, uh… trooper.

Great towels

As most of America is accustomed to showering at least once a day, a lot of the problems that have to do with men’s hygiene don’t relate to getting clean, they stem from staying clean when using decrepit, old rags to dry themselves. That’s why girlfriends should take note and invest in their man’s health (and by association, their own) by purchasing them a great set of plush towels.

Need I say more? Muah!

Top-notch textiles

Though men as a whole have taken leaps and bounds when it comes to their personal style, there are still crucial holes in their wardrobes that will go unplugged without the help of a loving female.

Some men have it; some men don’t.

Silk sheets

Newsflash! Everyone, regardless of their gender, thinks that silk feels good. That’s why girlfriends need to do their boyfriend’s a favor and rid them of their hand-me-down sheets and show them just how luxurious lying around unconscious can be.

This is a bonus two-for-one gift. He’s happy and you’re happy.

Winter accessories

For some unknown reason most, if not all, men come to the realization that they must, on occasion, trade their puffy “NY Jets” jacket for something more “adult.” Unfortunately, when it comes to gloves, scarves and hats, a lot of men seem to be stuck on their childhood playgrounds. So what do they need? A girlfriend to come in and stylize their heads and their hands so that they won’t die of cold or bad taste.

Underwear and socks

In general, men buy houses more frequently than they do underwear or socks. In these cases, the perfect action of an adoring girlfriend (or simply, a woman that doesn’t enjoy pulling 10-year-old boxers off the person they are about to sleep with) is to invest in their man with sexy-yet-functional underwear and socks, by association.

Bathrobes and pyjamas

Though most women are well-versed in achieving comfort via comfortable clothes, most men are not. That’s why it’s time for women to show their boyfriends their “lounging-as-lifestyle” secrets and surprise them with a comfortable uniform for relaxation comprised of a bathrobe and pajamas.

give the gift of gendered giving

Often, the greatest gift is to give someone something they need. But when an entire gender is in need of something, shopping becomes much easier. So listen up females: Follow the list above to achieve success any time you decide to shower your boyfriend with tangible praise. Just remember not to regift. Not only is it in poor taste, but it could defeat the hygienic goals of many of the presents listed here.

Looking for love in all the RIGHT places

Tags

Colorado Wedding, denver wedding planner, peacock weddings, wedding planning

*Wonderlust Wednesdays – Beautiful Imagery That Inspires*

You can find wedding inspiration anywhere you look. For example, who would think that the Loveland Chamber of Commerce’s Annual Dinner could produce such vibrant and exciting tables?

The following BEA.UTI.FUL pictures, shot by the very talented Christina Gressianu of PhotoCG, provides inspiration for a Carnival-themed wedding. You don’t have to incorporate every element shown below, but perhaps find one or two textures, colors, flowers, and use that throughout your wedding.

The key is to keep it simple but use a lot of it….

*THANK YOU to Christina Gressianu for these beautiful images!*

Self Preservation

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Aveda, colorado wedding planner, facial, massage, wedding planner, wedding planning

Engaged couples, this one is for you!

Suddenly, the idea of running off to Vegas to elope doesn’t seem so bad after all.

You are stressed. You are tired of looking at color samples. And frankly, you would rather be anywhere then looking at another cake.

Your time has come to infuse yourself and your fiancé with Love Shots.

Little bits of information to help you de-stress, invest time into your fiancé and take a step back from the planning.

So for today, this one is for the bride.

If you haven’t been to an Aveda Salon for manis/pedis, hair treatment or a sensuous massage, I highly recommend it.

As an faithful fan of Aveda since 2007, I try to get the full salon treatment once or twice a year. Mani/pedi, lunch, massage & facial

You can find an Aveda salon in your area here. Thanks to my hubs, I usually get a spa day for my birthday and wedding anniversary and it’s unlike no other.

Brides, take care of yourself! If you’re snarky and tired, you’re not going to be of help to anyone. And your fiancé won’t be afraid of you anymore.

Courtesy of Aveda

Top 7 Wedding Planning Mistakes

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planning mistakes, wedding planning

You and your fiance are newly engaged and the world is your oyster. Visions of beautiful ocean waves crashing during your outdoor ceremony or stilt walkers cutting champagne glasses from the ceiling soar through your brain.

You snap back into reality and realize that you want to party like a rock-star on a roadie budget.

What are you to do?

Here are 7 tips to Keep in Check to Avoid a Wedding Meltdown

1) Lacking personality – Couples are either too scared to infuse their ideas into their wedding or they want to have the exact.same.wedding you just saw online. Find a few things that are important to you and your fiance and incorporate them into your wedding.

2) Wasting money – I think it goes without saying that you need a budget. Even Pandora Vanderpump (RHOBH Lisa Vanderpump’s daughter) has a wedding budget. Figure out the three most important things about your wedding, allocate a higher percentage to those and figure out how you can do with less on the other items.

3) Forgetting what your wedding day is about – it’s so easy to become consumed by all-things wedding. Trust me, I was there. Remember what this day means to you and your fiance. Write it down, staple it to your forehead or tape it to your mirror. Whatever this day means to you both, should be the forefront for all of your planning needs.

4) Not having a Plan B – I think every engaged couple at one time or another said to themselves “It’s not going to rain on OUR wedding day” Hate to break it to you, but unless you’re getting married in the Sahara Desert, chances are there could be rain, snow, sandstorm, hurricane or any other act of Mother Nature on your wedding day. Plan accordingly.

5) Forgetting the word “BUDGET” – I know it sucks to talk about money, budget, deposits, first-born children, but trust me – the planning process will be much smoother if you have a clear understanding of how much things cost. Yes, this is an industry and we’re all here to make money. Things will cost money and remember, you get what you pay for. If food and photography are your two priorities, allocate your budget accordingly e.g. you will spend the bulk of your budget on these top two items. The rest of your “wish list” will have to be adjusted accordingly.

6) Hungover on your wedding day – do I need to say more here? Nobody looks good with red skin, bloodshot eyes & boozy breath. Keep the drinking in check.

7) Rudeness, cattiness, demanding, etc., etc., etc., – couples, please treat your family, friends, vendors and each other with kindness and respect. It will go a long ways making sure your day goes smoothly and merrily. And your family and friends will still talk to you after it’s all over.

I’m not saying don’t go crazy, just do it with the glue gun instead.