I saw this photo and could not resist posting it here. The people in my life know that my dogs, and really all dogs, hold a very special place in my heart.
I hope you get a chuckle out of this as much as I did.
Often times, I’m asked the question about tipping at your wedding; how much should I tip? Who should I give a tip to?
You want to reward the people that helped your wedding day run smoothly. Plan your tip distribution schedule ahead of time and bring along extra cash or checks for surprises tips. They really go a long way to show your wedding partners how much you valued their services.
Give checks for everyone who expects to be paid before they begin (bands for example) to the banquet manager or another person in charge, and gratuities to your best man or maid of honor. You’ll look a little silly if everyone is breaking down at the end of the night and you’re scribbling a bunch of checks. Plus, it’s super-easy to get carried away and give more then what you planned.
For vendors such as caterers wedding planners, florists, photographers, a monetary tip may seem a bit inappropriate, especially if the person you’re working with is the owner. In these cases, it’s totally cool to offer a personalized gift of gratitude.
Last, here is a quick nitty gritty schedule showing the *typical* tipping guidelines. Of course, feel free to adjust as you see fit.
PS – you should never have tip jars out for your guests; a sign that says “Gratuities have been fulfilled by the hosts” is appropriate and should be displayed.
|Banquet Manager||$200 and up or personal gift|
|Head Bartender||$50 and up|
|Bartender||$25 and up|
|Bathroom Attendants||$1 to $2 per guest or pre-arranged flat fee|
|Chef||$100 and up|
|Civil ceremony officiant||$25 to $50|
|Coatroom Attendants||$1 to $2 per guest or pre-arranged flat fee|
|Hairdresser||10% to 20% of fee|
|Maitre d’ or head waiter||1% – 3% of food/beverage of $150 – $300 for off-premise|
|Make-up artist||10% to 20% of fee|
|Ceremony Musicians||15% of fee|
|Reception Musicians||$25 to $50 per member, especially if guests make numerous requests|
|Parking Attendants||$1 to $2 per car; or 15% of bill for valet parking (usually included in bill)|
|Transportation driver||18% – 20% for limo|
|Wedding Planner||15% of fee; or a personal gift|
Perusing the various Facebook Wedding Groups that I belong to, I came across a feverish and interesting topic about kickbacks & venue “preferred vendor lists”. I usually don’t publicly (at least on the open ‘net) discuss industry practices because it can come off as, well, rather “Gossip Girl-ish”
But this is something that I’ve been hearing a lot about and thought I would throw my two cents in. I’m a “tell it how it is” kind of gal and if I offend you, drop me a note in the comments and tell me why.
First off, I do not accept any type of kickback, commission, first-born child or any other type of compensation (unless it is a box of sugar cookies) for referring business to another wedding partner. It’s not ethical and quite frankly is deceitful to my clients.
In my opinion, the honorable wedding partners I spoke with do NOT accept commissions or kickbacks. We all prefer that our partners spread the love to our clients. Our job as wedding planner’s is to bring the best talent within the couple’s budget to produce an amazing day.
How creepy would it be that we only referred people that paid us? To me, seems a little “Pretty Woman-ish”
I prefer to work with wedding partners that share similar work practices and of course, are just way kick-ass. Who wants to work with a stuffy vendor that has an ego the size of the Empire State Building? I just think that if we were all up-front about our business practices it would change the perception that our industry is filled with greedy money-grubbing business owners.
Trust me, I get that businesses need to create additional revenue streams by having strategic partnerships, but I don’t condone the practice of hiding the manner in which “preferred vendors” are selected. There are other ways to create these lists. Oh, I don’t know, how about getting to know smaller businesses on a personal level? Even the Ritz Carlton had to start out somewhere.
It is my business practice to be fully transparent in my services, business referrals and policies. If you want to know something, just ask me. I’m an open book with nothing to hide. Want to know if I lived in a trailer in Wyoming when I was a kid? Yep, sure have. Want to know if I have ever been in a really crappy relationship? Yep, that too. And I don’t regret either. I digress….
Venue’s Preferred Vendor Referral Lists
The wedding industry HAS to rely upon referrals/recommendations to sustain our business; we just cannot live without them. I personally would like to think that if I am recommended by another wedding partner, it is because they know that I will work my ass off and will protect THEIR reputation by doing so.
I truly believe that it is a two-way street. Why would you want to hire somebody if you don’t trust them to make YOU look good? I think this is Business 101, peeps.
With that being said, many (not all) venues have started creating “Venue Referral Lists” that are extremely misleading, in my opinion. Engaged couples have no clue that many times, vendors are PAYING (yes, paying!) either a flat fee or a percentage to be named as a “preferred vendor”. (I actually just spoke to a caterer this afternoon who confirmed this)
Seriously? Now, I have to PAY somebody to “like” me? This girl doesn’t play that game. This methodology frustrates me because this practice creates a perception that venue referrals are based on their merit and not the checkbook of the wedding vendor. Engaged couples are being misled. What happens if a couple decides to work with me only to find out that I’m not on the venue’s preferred list? The couple isn’t going to change their venue simply because I’m fabulous, although that would be super-cool. The couple is unhappy, the venue is being stubborn and I’ve lost out on potential business.
Doesn’t really seem to be a great idea.
Has this ever happened to you? Have you had clients who were interested in hiring you until they found out you weren’t on their venue’s preferred vendor list? What happened? Did you lose the job? And for those of you who may be on a venue’s preferred vendor list, please share your position – always curious to know what I don’t know.
I think one of the most confusing aspects of planning a wedding is the actual wedding day itself. Where does the cake go? How much time do I allot for preparations? When should we arrive at the venue?
How does the wedding processional go?
Today, I’m going to give you a high-level overview of how a *typical* wedding processional is structured. Keep in mind that this is one of many ways a wedding processional goes but one of the easiest to understand.
175 guest wedding + 12 person bridal party = high probability for confusion. Follow along with me as I clear the fog for you.
Wedding rehearsal can take place 2-7 days prior to wedding day, depending on availability of your venue. Usually, you are provided with one hour to conduct the rehearsal. To prevent confusion, would suggest that you only invite your immediate family that will be participating in the wedding, the entire bridal party, the officiant…oh, and don’t forget your fiancé!
Entire bridal party will arrive about 45-60 minutes before ceremony (if they are not getting dressed at the venue)
Each group will head to their respective rooms to freshen up and take a quick moment to eat.
❑ Bride and Groom’s family arrive about 20 minutes before ceremony to allow time to freshen up if they have been taking photographs
❑ Background music should be playing to welcome your guests to your ceremony. Set the tone for comfortable guests!
❑ Prelude music begins about 15 minutes before ceremony time.
**To give your guests an idea of “what is happening when”, music is a very inexpensive resource to set the tone of your wedding. Background music to signify guests arrival; music for family & bridal party; and then processional music to cue the bride’s grand entrance.**
❑ Processional music begins
❑ Ushers begin the processional
*There are cool ways to blend your families on both sides. This is especially helpful if one side doesn’t have a strong turnout and avoid the embarrassment.
Bridal party formation at front
Recessional order after bride and groom are pronounced
Remember, there are so many ways you can structure your wedding day processional. I am a huge advocate of making it your own. Don’t worry about the *rules* and have fun. If you want a sense of tradition, then I would suggest you follow the above suggestions. Otherwise, if you want a unique way to make a wedding entrance, take a peek at this. It’s only had like, 72 MILLION hits.
The world is your oyster and have FUN with your day! I would LOVE to hear how your ceremony went and why it was important to have it that way.
Every Friday, I will be talking about ways to take care of your relationship, wether it’s focusing on you, your fiancé or your relationship.
Below is an article I found on AskMen.com that talks about gifts you can give to your man, along with my $.02.
While it’s fun to be on the receiving end of gift-giving, we can’t always be selfish.
Ladies, read up –
Top 10 Man-GIfts
There are many things men will instinctively purchase on their own, such as beer, ale, suds, and alcoholic amber fluid (just to name a few). Unfortunately, upon leaving the confines of childhood — where mothers and fathers are legally bound to provide us with the products, goods and surgeries needed to survive — many adult men tend to forgo purchases that could turn them into fully-rounded, happy individuals.
On the bright side, while your parents have moved out of this pampering role, girlfriends (hopefully more than one) have moved in. So whether you’re a girl reading this list on your boyfriend’s behalf or you’re a guy planning to print this out and leave it on your girlfriend’s face while she sleeps, take note of the products below and make sure they reach the top of your current squeeze’s shopping list.
Upgrading current pleasures
If there is one thing men have an inherent skill for, it’s finding something they love and then buying its cheap, half-ass equivalent. This is why one of the best gifts a man can receive is the first-class version of a product he usually doles out pocket change for.
My husband is a huge video-gamer. He had one of the older PlayStations and during our engagement, I upgraded that version for him and bought a few games that he had been looking at. Yes, my 30+ husband still plays video games. With our neighbors. Online.
When it comes to alcohol, a lot of men are willing to forego taste and purity if it means they can get four gallons of it for $5. This is why splurging on a premium bottle of liquor remains, to this date, one of the most refreshing gifts a man can receive.
For example, if your fiance loves tequila, perhaps you upgrade and buy a bottle of Patron Silver.
When it comes to entertainment and hobbies, men and women tend to be polar opposites. After all, no woman has ever celebrated Easter morning by watching The Lord of the Rings, Scarface and an Iron Maiden DVD back-to-back. That’s why when a woman overcomes her own disgust and purchases her boyfriend something rare and expensive concerning his non female love, such as Tony Montana’s belt or Gandolf’s toothpick, it’s like his Christmas, birthday and Jessica Alba’s birthday rolled into one.
My husband is from Ohio, and LOVES the Ohio State Buckeyes (Go Bucks!). As an engagement gift, I gave him an old school pennant from the school.
Okay, so buying a man a magazine subscription isn’t really an upgrade, as these tend to be cheaper than buying individual copies of the publications. But the real treat here is that boyfriends will never have to go to the magazine stand in the middle of winter to find out why Tara Reid thinks brown hair is “so sexy.”
My husband is also into cars. Like it’s a crazy obsession and he’s a walking encyclopedia of useless car knowledge. So, I found a few car-related magazines and I ordered a few subscriptions. Every month, he’s reminded of how much I love him. All together now, “Awwwww”
Great grooming gifts
When it comes to personal grooming, many men simply don’t possess the skills, know-how or bathroom mirror needed to properly turn themselves from a stinky anthropoid to a fragrant Adonis — making this the perfect area for a girlfriend to take control.
The hubs is one of those manly guys who takes forever to get ready. True story. So any type of grooming gift would be perfect for him.
Axe Lab: Fragrances for men
Across the country, there are numerous men who equate “not being smelly” with “smelling good.” In times like these, it’s the sworn duty of girlfriends to teach their men about the advances made in fragrance technology and why their misunderstanding of “eau de toilette” has made them both stinky and unhygienic.
Unless a man is part of a militia or an English department, his head is the location of a perpetual war between facial hair and a society that deems it unacceptable. That’s why equipping her man with the weapons needed to make the war as painless as possible — specifically, a top-of-the-line shaving kit — is the best thing she can do to support the troops, uh… trooper.
As most of America is accustomed to showering at least once a day, a lot of the problems that have to do with men’s hygiene don’t relate to getting clean, they stem from staying clean when using decrepit, old rags to dry themselves. That’s why girlfriends should take note and invest in their man’s health (and by association, their own) by purchasing them a great set of plush towels.
Need I say more? Muah!
Though men as a whole have taken leaps and bounds when it comes to their personal style, there are still crucial holes in their wardrobes that will go unplugged without the help of a loving female.
Some men have it; some men don’t.
Newsflash! Everyone, regardless of their gender, thinks that silk feels good. That’s why girlfriends need to do their boyfriend’s a favor and rid them of their hand-me-down sheets and show them just how luxurious lying around unconscious can be.
This is a bonus two-for-one gift. He’s happy and you’re happy.
For some unknown reason most, if not all, men come to the realization that they must, on occasion, trade their puffy “NY Jets” jacket for something more “adult.” Unfortunately, when it comes to gloves, scarves and hats, a lot of men seem to be stuck on their childhood playgrounds. So what do they need? A girlfriend to come in and stylize their heads and their hands so that they won’t die of cold or bad taste.
Underwear and socks
In general, men buy houses more frequently than they do underwear or socks. In these cases, the perfect action of an adoring girlfriend (or simply, a woman that doesn’t enjoy pulling 10-year-old boxers off the person they are about to sleep with) is to invest in their man with sexy-yet-functional underwear and socks, by association.
Bathrobes and pyjamas
Though most women are well-versed in achieving comfort via comfortable clothes, most men are not. That’s why it’s time for women to show their boyfriends their “lounging-as-lifestyle” secrets and surprise them with a comfortable uniform for relaxation comprised of a bathrobe and pajamas.
give the gift of gendered giving
Often, the greatest gift is to give someone something they need. But when an entire gender is in need of something, shopping becomes much easier. So listen up females: Follow the list above to achieve success any time you decide to shower your boyfriend with tangible praise. Just remember not to regift. Not only is it in poor taste, but it could defeat the hygienic goals of many of the presents listed here.